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| The wisdom of Larry the cable guy.......
1. A day without sunshine is like night.
2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
3. 42.7 % of all statistics are made up on the spot.
4. 99 % of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5. Remember, half the people you know are below
average.
6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second
mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some
people have.
10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad
memory.
11. Change is inevitable, except from vending
machines.
12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of
payments.
13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise
my hand.
14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
15. When everything is coming your way,
you're in the
wrong lane.
16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays
off now.
17. How much deeper would the ocean be without
sponges?
18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into
jet engines.
19. What happens if you get scared half to death,
twice?
20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
21. Inside every older person is a younger person
wondering, "What the heck happened?"
22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we
would all fall off.
23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some
people appear bright until you hear them speak.
24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more
like a jar of jalapenos.
What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.
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| My sister and I hit on each other durring the day so we can smile and get it over with.
My favorite pick up line:
Okay,
so I came over here to ask you to dance, but I'm kind of
concerned. I mean, we could hit it off really well, end up having
a few drinks, next thing you know you're giving me your number
because I'm too shy to ask for it, I finally get up the nerve to call
and we take in a movie, have some dinner, I relax, you relax, we
go out a few more times, get to know each other's friends, spend a
lot of time together, then finally have get past this sexual tension and
really develop this intense sex life that is truly incredible,
decide our relationship is solid and stable, so we move in together
for a while, then a few months later get married, I get a promotion,
you get a promotion, we buy a bigger house. You really want kids, but
I really want freedom, but we have a kid anyway, only to find that
I am resentful, the sparks start to fade and to rekindle them we
have two more lovely kids, but now I work too much to keep up with the
bills, have no time for you, you're stressed and stop taking really
good care of yourself, so to get past our slow sex life and my
declining self-confidence I turn to an outside affair for sexual
gratification. You find out because I'm careless and a lousy liar,
you throw me out (justifiably so) and we have to explain to the kids
why mommy and daddy are splitting up. That's just too sad. Think about
the children. For God's sake, if you dance with me and we hit it off,
let's just keep it sexual, because we both know where it's
going.
Check out more pick up lines for giggles @ www.linesthataregood.com
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| I am so excited. At the end of this month He and I will be seeing each other for a year. How cool is that?!?. He is off chasing snow in up state New York. We go look at a house next week end. Its a 5 bed room old farm house, with a finished basment, oh and lots of land for Vern to play with his metal. | | |
|    See what happens when we get bored.
The dresses above are ones that my wedding dress is hopefully going to look like.
Vern and I are trying to make wedding plans. Any suggestions??
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| TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS,
HE LIVED ALL ALONE,
IN A ONE BEDROOM HOUSE MADE OF
PLASTER AND STONE.
I HAD COME DOWN THE CHIMNEY
WITH PRESENTS TO GIVE,
AND TO SEE JUST WHO
IN THIS HOME DID LIVE.
I LOOKED ALL ABOUT,
A STRANGE SIGHT I DID SEE,
NO TINSEL, NO PRESENTS,
NOT EVEN A TREE.
NO STOCKING BY MANTLE,
JUST BOOTS FILLED WITH SAND,
ON THE WALL HUNG PICTURES
OF FAR DISTANT LANDS.
WITH MEDALS AND BADGES,
AWARDS OF ALL KINDS, A SOBER THOUGHT
CAME THROUGH MY MIND.
FOR THIS HOUSE WAS DIFFERENT,
IT WAS DARK AND DREARY,
I FOUND THE HOME OF A SOLDIER,
ONCE I COULD SEE CLEARLY.
THE SOLDIER LAY SLEEPING,
SILENT, ALONE,
CURLED UP ON THE FLOOR
IN THIS ONE BEDROOM HOME.
THE FACE WAS SO GENTLE,
THE ROOM IN SUCH DISORDER,
NOT HOW I PICTURED
A UNITED STATES SOLDIER.
WAS THIS THE HERO
OF WHOM I 'D JUST READ?
CURLED UP ON A PONCHO,
THE FLOOR FOR A BED?
I REALIZED THE FAMILIES
THAT I SAW THIS NIGHT,
OWED THEIR LIVES TO THESE SOLDIERS
WHO WERE WILLING TO FIGHT.
SOON ROUND THE WORLD,
THE CHILDREN WOULD PLAY,
AND GROWNUPS WOULD CELEBRATE
A BRIGHT CHRISTMAS DAY.
THEY ALL ENJOYED FREEDOM
EACH MONTH OF THE YEAR,
BECAUSE OF THE SOLDIERS,
LIKE THE ONE LYING HERE.
I COULDN'T HELP WONDER
HOW MANY LAY ALONE,
ON A COLD CHRISTMAS EVE
IN A LAND FAR FROM HOME.
THE VERY THOUGHT
BROUGHT A TEAR TO MY EYE,
I DROPPED TO MY KNEES
AND STARTED TO CRY.
THE SOLDIER AWAKENED
AND I HEARD A ROUGH VOICE,
"SANTA DON'T CRY,
THIS LIFE IS MY CHOICE";
I FIGHT FOR FREEDOM,
I DON'T ASK FOR MORE,
MY LIFE IS MY GOD,
MY COUNTRY, MY CORPS."
THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER
AND DRIFTED TO SLEEP,
I COULDN'T CONTROL IT,
I CONTINUED TO WEEP.
I KEPT WATCH FOR HOURS,
SO SILENT AND STILL
AND WE BOTH SHIVERED
FROM THE COLD NIGHT'S CHILL.
I DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE
ON THAT COLD, DARK, NIGHT,
THIS GUARDIAN OF HONOR
SO WILLING TO FIGHT.
THEN THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER,
WITH A VOICE SOFT AND PURE,
WHISPERED, "CARRY ON SANTA,
IT'S CHRISTMAS DAY, ALL IS SECURE."
ONE LOOK AT MY WATCH,
AND I KNEW HE WAS RIGHT.
"MERRY CHRISTMAS MY FRIEND,
AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT."
This poem was written by a Marine. The
following is his request. I think it is reasonable.....
PLEASE. Would you do me the kind favor of sending
this to as many people as you can? Christmas will be coming soon
and some credit is due to our U.S. service men and women for our being
able to celebrate these festivities.Let's try in this small way to pay a
tiny bit of what we owe. Make people stop and think of our heroes,
living and dead, who sacrificed themselves for us. Please, do your small
part to plant this small seed
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